Monday, 16 October 2017

Supernatural Think Tank - Anna's Thoughts on 13x01 "Lost and Found"


First off I'd like to start out by saying...Welcome back everyone. I hope you all had a safe and fun Hellatus.   If you are reading this, I'd secondly like to thank you for that as well. I very much appreciate that Amy has allowed me the honour of sharing my thoughts with all of you, even if sometimes we all don't necessarily agree on them.  I very much appreciate the time you take out of your day to read them, whether for sheer enjoyment and interest or simply for the opportunity to comment and share your thoughts, either they be positive or negative.  I am just honoured that you made the effort. 😀  As you may or may not  know, I don't review the eps.  I will rave about it and I will gush with the love and admiration of our characters and the awesome work by both Jared and Jensen, but I leave the actual reviewing to Amy.  She's brilliant at reviewing and she doesn't need any assistance at all in that department.   What I tend to do is share my wandering thoughts with all of you when I find a certain aspect or aspects of the show compelling.  Of course one thing leads to another and before you know it I'm off on tangents as my thoughts simply wander and wonder in all sorts of directions.   I can only hope that some of these thoughts might be something that is as interesting to you as well and thoughts that you might have opinions on that you too would be willing to share.

All that being said, I hope you find the first of my ramblings regarding this season to be at the very most......interesting.😜 

An Interesting Observation in an Interestingly Observational Kind of Way

  I also noticed, as Amy did, as probably many of you have, that Dean's prayer was quite telling. The very fact that he was praying says a lot, especially given the fact that we've seen Dean mock Sam when it was Sam doing the praying.  It appears that Dean isn't in a good place right now to stoop to the likes of asking Chuck/God for help.😟 His prayer said a lot as well.  It wasn't simply about the loss of Cas and Dean asking for his friend to come back.  It wasn't even only about his mom.  I  too think it was more about Dean's need or want of a family.   Dean included Crowley in that prayer.  I have to watch again, but I think he also might have included Rowena as well.  He wants them all back.  For greater or worse, everyone that died, good and bad, was part of that family dynamic that Dean created. They were a part of the Winchester Realm.🏰  These are all the people that Dean's grown accustomed to having in his life, even if having them brought sorrow, pain and death, even when they themselves caused this pain and death.  From a psychological aspect, I found this to be so very enlightening.  Dean is the one, who early on told Sam that it was best to be on their own, to cut all his friends out of his life because it would be easier.  So many times Dean is the one who said that people in their line of work can't get close to people, can't have friends.  Ironically, when Sam jumped in the pit, Dean went to Lisa and Ben.  When Dean lost the one true person in this world he couldn't do without, he tried to substitute  him by adopting this family. 👪 A family I always thought reminded him of his own.   Lucifer took Dean's comfortable dynamic from him. He didn't trust all those taken, but they were a part of his world, a world he was used to. Now it's just him and Sam, Sam being the only reason Dean is able to function right now, Sam being his true support system.  Sam, who is now vulnerable because the two/three people that he's gone to in the past for help  when his brother was in trouble or hurt are now gone.  Dean has just been smacked with the unbearable reality that both he and Sam are once again alone.  Huh, funny how show manages to always allow both brothers to experience the same thing, if even ever a so slightly circumstance.  Not so long ago, Sam had experienced the very same feelings that Dean is feeling right now, the loss of everyone he'd ever cared about, that he loved and the grief and despair and loneliness of being the only one left.  Though each has their own way of handling or not handling their grief, they both broke.  The only difference being that Dean didn't lose Sam in this instance, that he has his brother to pick up his pieces and love and support him until he's made whole again.  Just another example of the boys walking in each other's shoes.  I always treasure these little moments, even when they aren't the happiest ones, simply because I feel it brings the boys closer even if they don't realise it.  When both experience what the other has gone through at some point in their lives, it gives them a better understanding of the other and what it was like for them when they weren't there or hadn't experienced it for themselves.  I feel shared experiences, even if not exactly the same, give the boys insight into each other and thus bring them even closer, forging an even stronger bond.  A bond that nobody nor no circumstance can ever break. 💕

The Sins of the Father

As I was watching the episode it occurred to me that Dean's judgement of Jack isn't based on evidence of any kind.  Dean has decided that Jack will be the destruction of the world and as such must die based largely on who Jack's father is.  It is pretty obvious that Dean is lashing out at Jack, not because of anything he's done, but because of what his father has done.  Dean's opinion of Jack isn't based on his actions,  it's based on who Jack was borne from.  Dean is basically laying the sins of the father onto the son.  There is a flaw in Dean's way of thinking, as Jack isn't only the son of Lucifer, he's also the son of a human, a good, kindhearted, loving human. If one were to examine Jack's situation, one would see that Jack only knows love, as Lucifer has had absolutely no contact with his son at all. Jack also considers Cas to be his father.  Still, regardless of who Jack's father is, so far Jack's only influence has been that of his mother and Cas;  therefore it's been a positive one. 

The irony here is, though Jack was forced to grow up quickly because of the danger he was in, he in essence is still a baby.  Dean and Sam both were in agreement that Jack needed to be protected from Lucifer. Neither brother was willing to kill a child.  So, does not the same rule apply to a child over the age of 12? Dean has decided that Jack will be the end of everything, but would he think the same had Jack come out a baby?  Would Dean change his mind and then suddenly decide that Jack was too much a risk and kill him had he come out an infant?   Let's consider Jack a moment.  He's walking and talking for sure yes, but he has the same innocence that he would've had had he come out an infant. As a baby it's highly unlikely that infant Jack could control his powers.  A hungry or wet baby could've set off Jack's powers and it wouldn't be his fault.  The boys wouldn't kill baby Jack because he was too young to control or understand his abilities.  Well, the situation is still the same for Jack.  He might be walking and talking, but he's basically as blank a slate as he would be as a baby.  Jack is basically.....lost.  He doesn't understand what powers he has or how to yet control them. He doesn't even fully understand the world around him right now. We have seen no desire from Jack to want to hurt anyone.   Yet Dean has decided, without any cause that Jack is in fact evil incarnate.  He's been judged, tried and found guilty without committing any crime. Dean's opinion is hardly a fair one, as it's not based on evidence from Jack himself, it's based on his pain and his grief at the loss he's suffered by Jack's father. He can't take his hurt out on Lucifer, so Dean is taking it out on Lucifer's son.   The danger here is that Dean's condemnation of Jack could be the very thing that pushes him into becoming the very thing Dean has decided he would be.   Lucky for both, they have Sam.

Forever the Optimist

Sam is grieving the loss of his friends as well, but unlike Dean, who is without any hope and pretty much at rock bottom, Sam isn't ready to give up on his mom.  He doesn't believe that she's dead, and with that Sam has found a purpose and a use for Jack. Sam asked if Jack can open the rift again and Jack said he could. Jack has become very important to Sam, as he is the key to getting their mother back.  For Sam, Jack isn't only a mere tool,  Jack is a human being, at least half of one.  Sam doesn't see Jack as Lucifer Das Machina.  He doesn't believe that Jack is necessarily destined to be evil, after all Jack was also born from a mother who loved him.   Sam knows that it's not who you are, it's what you do.  Sam has been supposedly fated to become evil not so long ago.  It was decided by angels and demons alike that Sam would be the "Demon King".  That didn't matter though.  The more his fate seemed destined, the more Sam fought it and proved them all wrong. Sam believes that the same applies to Jack.  He may have an evil father, but he had a loving mother.  Jack can be good.  Jack's destiny is not etched in stone.  Sam is willing to teach Jack, to guide him towards knowing right from wrong and doing the right thing.  Sam is willing to believe in Jack.  He's certainly not going to kill Jack, unless of course, Jack does end up doing something that has earned him that death. Sam, the holder of hope, will do what he can to be the light, not only for Dean, but for Jack as well.  

Sam and Dean are each other's support system.  When one is in the dark, the other is the candle in the window.   As I watched this episode, this song popped into my head.  It applies to both brothers of course, but I think this time around, it's Sam for Dean.

It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It's breaks your will
It feels like that

You think you're lost
But your not lost on your own
You're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all (finds us all)
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
Yeah I know you can make it

'Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't


I thought this episode was amazing.   Everyone brought in their A game and knocked it out of the park.  Jensen did an amazing job portraying a despondent and angry Dean.  You know Dean's in a bad place when he brings God/Chuck into the picture. Jared was incredible as well.  He was thoughtful and kind to Jack at the same time being totally freaked out.  His speech to Jack at the end, as they burned Cas was so heartfelt.  The chemistry between Jack and Sam is wonderful.  I have no doubt that we will start to see chemistry between Jack and Dean as time goes on.  Alex Calvert did an amazing job.  Welcome to the family.  He brought a touch of innocence as well has humour.  Jack is quite likable and at the same time you wonder if he'll stay that way, and touches your heart enough that like Sam, you believe the best in him.  Jack will make for an interesting character for sure.  I look forward to the Winchesters guiding him.  The guest cast did a great job as well and to top it all off, it only took 13 years, but Show finally nailed a Metallica song. 🙏

One Last Thought

I've been wondering if the Future that Cas saw, wasn't our world but perhaps the A/U world?  I wonder if Kelly was right, and Jack does lift the world to it's feet. Maybe Jack brings peace to the Apocalyptic world.  HMMM 🤔 

That's it for this week.  Til next. 

Saturday, 14 October 2017

Review: Supernatural Season 13 Premiere - 13x01 Lost and Found


So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know, yeah!

My goodness…13 seasons in and my anticipation for this show’s return continues to increase season on season! I was super pumped for Supernatural’s epic season 13 premiere, on what for me was Friday the 13th! I had to wait way too damn long to watch Lost and Found though…having to work of course (stupid work getting in the way of fangirl stuff), but then also having to go out at night! So I didn’t end up watching the first episode of the new season until about 1am in the morning! It didn’t matter that I was exhausted, there was no way in the world I was going to sleep without watching my boys…they had been on my mind for hours (oh who am I kidding, they are always on my mind!) So I got some cookies - nothing like a long past midnight snack - and settled in….

The Road So Far was a really interesting precursor to what we were about to see and feel. It one hundred percent focused on the people Sam and Dean had lost, and I loved that. There were all the hugs, hands helping each other up, everything that represented the family Sam and Dean had clawed back into their lives - yes, even Crowley - all of whom have now been torn away from them, yet again. It wasn’t so much a montage of what happened last season, as a montage pointing to the brothers’ new painful reality. Of what they fought for, and have lost. Of course they have each other, and when push shoves, that’s what is the most important thing and what always gets them through no matter what, which the amazing Metallica song we had accompanying The Road So Far perfectly captured… “Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters”, but that doesn’t mean this series of losses isn't absolutely cataclysmic...

And then as if no time all has passed, we join Sam and Dean exactly where we left them, Dean outside kneeling over the dead body of Castiel, and Sam inside, facing the son of Lucifer.

I liked this episode a lot. I liked that it gave us a chance to be shattered alongside the Winchesters. We weren’t rushed headlong into the next big bad thing, we were brought into the Winchester’s circle of pain, and even though the episode still moved at a pacey pace, and the brothers’ mission and focus was to find Jack, the insta-grow son of Satan, the overwhelming story layer that sat heavy across the entire hour, was grief, that gut-wrenching, shocking, hurts in your bones, grief. The kind you never saw coming. It rested like a weight on everything. It nestled in every corner of both Sam and Dean’s faces…I’m pretty sure it’s taken up permanent residence on Dean’s beautifully, tortured face. Every movement, every action, every conversation seemed to be pushed through a bubble of sadness.

Dean, of course, is feeling all of this tragedy right down in the core of his being. So much is gone. Just like that. In one, big, catastrophic event. Through the years we’ve got to know Dean we’ve seen over and over how vitally important that sense of family is to him, that sense of belonging. He’s become much more open and empathetic, he’s laid his emotions on the line in the most profoundly honest ways - something that was not always easy for him to do - and he’s gathered these people, friends and even foe, into this ragtag family unit that he’s built up around Sam and himself. He seemed to take pride in this family the brothers built. He definitely took comfort. He felt lucky when he had those people around him and Sam, he thought they had it all, as he said in Who We Are. He’s even admitted that he has people who love him. Dean’s emotional journey through the people who have touched his life and become a part of it, has been one of the most compelling and complex aspects of the Supernatural story and Dean’s character arc over the last 4 or 5 seasons. 

The brothers have always had to fight tooth and nail to get and hold on to anything good, but they really did start to build something stable, and that manifested in a shifting level of comfort, with each other, their world, their jobs. The bunker, Cas, Jody and Donna and Alex and Claire, even with Crowley and Rowena, and eventually with Mary. This allowed both of them to own their place in the continued existence of the world. Even Dean was able to say, we save the world, we kick-ass, a huge step for him. But now with two of the most important people in his world gone, and a couple others who were important in other ways, Dean feels gutted, and stripped of that security. No matter what they do, how hard they fight, how much good they accomplish, how many times they save the damn world, the Winchester brothers always end up losing, and not just losing the fight, but losing what they hold dear. 

I thought this was powerfully displayed in the fact that when the sheriff asked Dean if he was a superhero he said he was just a guy doing a job. Not that I’d ever expect him to say anything different, but the hopelessness and resignation that he said those words smacked of a Dean we hadn’t seen for a while, the desperately sad, broken down, all is lost, what’s the damn point Dean. The Dean who tells a civilian about the monster world with absolutely zero care. 

Then there’s the nightmare of his mother burning again on the ceiling, her disappearance making him relive her original death. He can’t dare hope that she would be alive, because to have to then go through the pain of her actually being dead would be too much to bear, so Dean chooses not to hope, he chooses instead to be resigned to the crushing void he sees around him.

Dean’s prayer to God was particularly heartbreaking, partly because Ackles’ command of those emotional moments is so gobsmackingly good that he makes you ache in places you didn’t even know could ache, but also because, not only has Dean lost all hope through the destruction of his family, his tribe, but also because this, once again, makes Dean lose all faith in God/Chuck…and that was a relationship that had pretty much healed after so many years of Dean being furious with God’s abandonment of humanity. Now Dean’s belief that God/Chuck may have cared about them, is gone once again. If he cared, if he was listening, why would he not intervene? If he's not listening, why has he left them again? Chuck told Dean the world would be okay because Sam and Dean where in it, and as Dean said, it’s not…so Dean’s carrying that too. Just a clusterfuck of dark, sad, angry, hopeless, guilt ridden emotions. So much so, he just had to hit something, to get the anger out…to feel something other than grief…to hurt himself because he thinks he deserves it… His head hanging low from the weight of despair and defeat.

How this scene made me think of the moment in Home when Dean walked around a corner to call his dad for help... How much more powerful is the likeness of the scenes when you recall how Chuck told Dean not to confuse him with his dad. How much more heartbreaking is it that Dean would still, in this moment of complete agony, reach out to God.... A last ditch plea... One last hope.

Oh Dean...

The first word said by Jack was father, but not only was this his first word, it was the first word of the new season. Family has always been the most important thread in this show. The notion of family don’t end with blood, and just because you’re blood don’t make you family, is something that all our characters have had to grapple with, from the Winchesters, to Cas, through to Crowley. Jack knows that his mother is dead, she told him that his father would look after him…but she told him, as we find out later, that the father he should seek out is Castiel. Cas is someone Kelly could see would be a good father figure, regardless of the fact (or in this case because of it), that he is not Jack’s biological father. Kelly had a connection with Cas, and knew that Jack did too. She could see that Cas was good and would be a good guide for her son. But with Cas currently dead (currently dead, what other show can you write that about…many times!), the Winchester brothers are going to be stepping into that parental role. As the EPs have explained, last season the boys were figuring out how to be grownup sons to a mother they didn’t know, this season, they will have to figure out how to be parents.

I thought newcomer Alex Calvert did a great job as Jack. He infused him with just enough mystery. He was innocent, lost and scared, and had very new feeling, but with a flash of the eyes - and not even when they flashed yellow - you're instantly not sure what and who he’s going to be and where the character is going to land. Like many before him, he wants to be good, but will that be his fate, or will his blood lead him to the dark side? It’s Supernatural’s free will versus destiny argument, with a helping of nature vs nurture.

Sam, of course, wants to believe that there is good in Jack and that they should give him chance. Sam at one point also saw himself as a monster and was scared that he was capable of terrible things. All he wanted was someone to believe that he was more than just his destiny. Sam had Dean to believe in him, Jack, it seems…until Cas comes back…will have Sam.

Sam reaches out to Jack (and thankfully asks about the talking thing because I wondered), and tries to reassure Jack. He’s gentle and understanding, even though he's scared. You can see Sam's trepidation, stuck in a cage with Lucifer's son - of all things and places to be. I liked Sam and Jack straight away. I could see so much of Sam in how Sam was relating to him. It was a peak Sam moment, if you know what I mean.

Sam and Dean are playing very traditional Sam and Dean roles in this episode, Sam being so Sam, trying to take it slow and work through the problem, look for hope and light in the darkness, even turning to his older brother for reassurance when he asks if Cas is truly dead - there was something so small in that moment. Sam places hope in someone he sees needing both hope and help... and Dean...well he's being good old shoot first Dean - he just wants to kill Jack, for being Lucifer’s son, and for what he sees as Jack’s part in the tragedy that unfolded around his birth. He just needs to make something pay for this latest crushing blow, and he's convinced that Jack will be evil, because when does something not bad happen for the Winchesters *sigh*. In the end, the brothers agree to take Jack home where he can do less damage - for the time being reaching an agreement. By the way, I noticed that Dean used the word home whereas Sam used the word Bunker. Just his use of the word home in that moment, telegraphed the importance Dean puts in what he and Sam have created there. That word home, kinda killed me.

Then we ended with Cas’ funeral pyre and I cried my eyes out. Of course, we all know he’s not forever dead, that ain’t no spoiler anymore, but man, Sam’s soft words, choosing to tell Jack what you would say, rather than saying the words in any form of eulogy, because that would be just too much for him. It can feel impossible to say farewell, there are no words or emotions that truly allow that and Jared showed Sam's heartbreak so perfectly in that moment. I thought this was a super clever and super powerful way to convey the difficulty of facing what the brothers were now facing. Dean just says goodbye, squares his shoulders and tosses the lighter into the pyre (he needs to get some disposables), he’s just so horribly sad and hopeless by now, he seems numb, and then we see their faces…and Dean’s is pure anguish. Jensen gave a barely contained, boiling performance, everything seething inside, spilling onto his face and colouring the tone of his voice…only knowing Dean the way we do, would you see that the almost calm around him was masking a raging tornado of emotions. Well done, Jensen…you are a master.

Every character we met in Lost and Found was great - the boys at the Pirate Pete's Jolly Treats - particularly the sheriff’s son who gave us some lighter moments, the sheriff, the weird drunk angel - everyone was great. We saw a definite split in the angel world too, with one saying Cas deserved what he got, while the other saying he deserved better - heaven is still in turmoil by the sounds of it. And drunk angel wants Jack so that heaven can use his powers…whatever they may be. Speaking of Jack’s powers, the anti-gravity energy bubble he creates is something else! Super cool. It’s going to be interesting to see what other tricks he has up his sleeve.

In many ways, Lost and Found felt like a very different season premiere, because we didn’t seem to rush straight into a new season arc. We met Jack, and we were given time to absorb who and what he might be, and we were given time to feel our feels, and feel for our brothers, and feel our feels for those we lost. It was beautifully acted by absolutely everyone. Jared and Alex have great chemistry and I can't wait to see more of them together. It was a lovely script by Andrew Dabb, with a wonderful cinematic air to the production  - that shot of the boys driving the car while talking was fantastic! And we got Metallica. An all around, absolutely kick ass start to our 13th season

This is what Supernatural does best. Heart and horror is what this show is, it’s deep and heartbreaking and thought provoking all to the sound of whacking great big emotional thunderclaps with the Winchester brothers soundly in the middle of it all. And even through the despair, through their disagreement, they are very much together, they were talking through the problem, not fighting but discussing, and looking to each other and out for each other every step of the way...just as it should be. They've come so far.

I’m simply thrilled to have our show back, I'm simply thrilled for whats to come.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


Thursday, 12 October 2017



Yep we're baaaaackkkkkk for SEASON 13! And that means.....





Here we go..........

“Lost and Found”

THEY’RE BAAACKK… — Season 13 begins exactly where we left off, with Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) left to pick up the pieces after the loss of their mother, the demise of Crowley (Mark Sheppard), and the heartbreaking death of Castiel (Misha Collins).  The birth of Jack (Alexander Calvert) leaves the Winchester brothers with differing opinions on how to deal with a Nephilim.  After being dragged into the breach, Mary (Samantha Smith) must learn to survive Lucifer (Mark Pellegrino) and an apocalyptic world.

I'm so excited about picking up exactly where we left off! I love it when we do that! Back at the house where the Nephilim was born, with Cas dead and baby Jack in the nursery...all 5ft 8 of him! The rift closed and Mary gone. GET READY FOR PAIN!!!!!

We got a couple of short promos and then the extended version and we also got an appa-teaser from the show WHICH IS FREAKIN' AMAZING AND LOOKS LIKE A HORROR SHOW!

So here we go with the promos!



Jack has a funky energy bubble power - and he can't control it, especially when he's frightened. And it makes Sam and Dean hover and look windswept and then fly at the walls....again.

The last Prince of Hell has hit town and taken over, err, Hell. That's Asmodeus in the white suit!

Donatello Redfield the prophet is back! I guess when Amara left, he got his soul back!

There's a lot of people being tossed around!

There's some jail time coming!

There are angels.

Lucifer is in some cage thingy.

Mary is hanging out with Lucifer apparently.

There's a big angel shadow which is most likely Michael.

There's creepy kids!

And curly fries!

And there's this...which is going to break all our hearts.... look at Dean's face....

Here's a little bit from Andrew Dabb from Variety [full article]

"When season 13 starts, the Winchesters will feel an urgency to get to the bottom of how Jack (Alexander Calvert) can tap into his powers as Lucifer’s son to re-open the rip between worlds. “Overall, the push for mom is the driving factor behind a lot of what our guys do and the melodrama between them in the first chunk of the season,” Dabb says, adding that the question really is if and how Jack will help them.

On the flip side, Dean and Sam begin to see themselves reflected in Jack at times. “Sam was cursed with powers for a big chunk of the show, and Dean sees this kid who is eager to please his dad and wonders if he’s turning into his father,” Dabb says. “And we say with kids all of the time, you hope they get your best qualities, but sometimes they get your worst qualities. Sam and Dean have been through dark times, and that’s something Jack will be exposed to.”



You'd never know this show is in its 13th season with all the love it's getting in the media!

And this has nothing to do with the episode - but of oh the gifts we've been given!

So are we going to get a sneak peek clip?? Are we??


If we do, I'll be back...until then


Okay...this is going to hurt. What about Cas, you think he's dead? You know he is. Ohhhh yeah...we got Dean Winchester pain coming in truck loads, people. Prepare your hearts! awesome is this car great! I love how they shoot the boys in the car these days, you feel like you're riding along side them!

Okay everyone, HAVE FUN! Or you know... well, have heartbreaking fun!



Before season 13 kicks off read sweetondean's look at 12x23 HERE

Sunday, 8 October 2017


Honestly, I meant to write up the season 12 finale straight after it happened, I truly did, but then I got busy, and then it got further and further behind me, and then I started my EPIC HELLATUS REWATCH, and then I thought… ”well hell, let’s write it up just before season 13…like my very own ROAD SO FAR!” Heh. So here I am!

For the first time in a quite a while, this hiatus I did a full series rewatch. I used to do a full rewatch every hiatus, but then the show kept going and going and going and there were more and more episodes and it got more and more daunting! I’d watch full seasons, favourite eps, lots and lots of Supernatural, but the full season rewatch, I probably hadn’t done since METATRON KILLED DEAN AND I WAS CATATONIC FOR 3 MONTHS! I still can’t write this without excessive use of caps.

As always, it was super interesting going back and watching the Supernatural story unfold, being privy to all that would happen to the Winchesters further down the track. But what really interested me was how some of the seasons that had always been my go-to seasons, when watching them this time around as part of today’s big picture, now made me feel REALLY BIG FEELS! 

I had always said that seasons 4 and 5 were my favourite seasons. I loved the story that rolled out, the standalone episodes and the mytharc, and the brothers' epic fight against Lucifer and the apocalypse. But what I found interesting as I tackled my epic rewatch, was how traumatic I now found these seasons to be! Yes, sure, they were always traumatic, I knew they were chockerblock full of pain, yes they always hurt, these were the seasons where the fractures between the brothers really started, and some of the worst conflicts between the boys and some of the most feely moments live in seasons 4 and 5…but, oh my gosh…MY HEART! I was actually shocked at how devastating I found these two seasons, and how hard I found them to watch! I had been watching a few episodes each night, but half way through season 5, I took a little hiatus of my own… FROM THE PAIN!

But like the Winchesters I picked myself up, soldiered on and steadied myself for Swan Song, which is still one of my favourite episodes, moved through on to 6 and Exile on Main Street which is one of my favourite season premieres. I enjoyed season 6 a lot more than I remembered. I loved exploring Dean in another kind of relationship, seeing different elements of him revealed through his new situation. I loved all the soulless Sam stuff, but was so crazy happy when it was done, and I liked seeing the Campbells, because it really seemed to reinforce the notion of just because you’re blood doesn’t make you family, which is something that comes up again and again for all our characters in later seasons. I was just as shocked as ever by Cas’ betrayal of Sam, his terrible hubris…this was the first time we saw Cas making catastrophic errors of judgement. Man, the episode where they figure out that Cas has been spying on them is so damn powerful…the slight shifts in all their faces, stellar performances from Jensen, Jared and Jim. Then through to the season finale that pretty much focused on Cas... As much as I love Cas and love him being part of our story I realised that I feel finales should centre on the Winchesters and their eternal struggle, and this one seemed to stray off point. I think that was the only finale that didn’t work so well for me, though all the Sam stuff was AMAZING. 

Onwards I watched through 7 and the tragedy of Bobby (and those Leviathan...meh), and then on to 8 and that spectacular ending with the brother’s pledge to each other - once again, their bond, for better or worse trumping everything else…

And it was around here that it truly hit me, why I found the earlier seasons, always my emotional favourites, far harder to watch this time around, because from the end of 8 onwards the brothers started a new trajectory. A new trajectory that took them to where we found them at the end of season 12, firmly together, shoulder to shoulder, having put so much behind them, having waded through so much crap. We’ve seen them make it through to the other side. They are finally where I always tried to convince myself they already were. And seeing them struggle with trust and belief in each other, in their role in the Universe, in the job, their job satisfaction, their destiny and everything in between, hurts more now than it did before, because they have finally (for the most part) conquered all of that. Sure, it could also be that these men have been a profoundly important part of my existence for 12 years and are very much part of my cellular makeup now, but seeing them battle through and overcome so much, and then going back and seeing them battle through it all over again, really, really hurt!

And as much as season 9 had some catastrophic challenges for the brothers, in the end it forged them closer together through the emotional fire they had to traverse.

And 264 episodes later, I now will tell you that seasons 9 and 10 are my favourite seasons, with some of my all time favourite episodes living in the these later seasons. What show can say that? Most shows by that stage are treading water, but as I see it, this show has got better, and continues to do so. It’s got stronger. The relationships are more powerful, the story has got deeper and sure, sometimes more challenging, but good storytelling should challenge, especially if you are committed to it and the characters heart and soul.

To hear Dean tell Sam, all that ever mattered is that they’re together, to hear both Sam and Dean admit to, and show pride in their part in the continuation or humanity and the world - basically admitting to being great big heroes - to witness Sam become the leader he was always destined to become, and Dean to see, support and encourage him, to witness Dean own and shed buried guilt we didn’t even know he had, to see them both understand and acknowledge what they did in the past to hurt each other and their relationship and openly seek to try to do things differently, and to see them do all these things together, truly together, has made the journey so rewarding, because we want to see the Winchesters grow and learn and not always make the same mistakes over and over (though no doubt they will make them again), and we want to see them win, even if it's only in the comfort of their own relationship...oh who am I kidding, MOSTLY THAT! 

And my epic hiatus rewatch journey was made all the more epic and rewarding and wonderful because of where I knew we were heading. Through every lie and betrayal, through every misstep and miscommunication, I knew that those experiences would eventually colour their world and their partnership in a positive way, that they would eventually look around and SEE who and what they had and stop fighting it every step of the way, and we would find our Sam and Dean where we find them now…or rather then…at the end of season 12…which brings me to the finale! FINALLY!

Every time our boys get even just the tiniest bit comfortable, their world is ripped out from under them, because their fate is to always battle and struggle and grind on, that is the tragedy of their existence, and the churning guts of this story, the Winchester’s struggle and fight for everything that means something to them.

For this reason, we should have seen it coming I guess, all the death and devastation, our boys cannot have nice things. They can not have even a modicum of contentment. Dean spoke about how they had lost everyone…their mum, Cas…in Who We Are, and then in the finale, they had them back, fighting together at their sides. We should have seen it coming, because the Winchesters can’t be that lucky. Ever.

But that doesn’t mean the level at which their equilibrium was laid waste was any less shocking.

Rowena. We should have seen this coming for sure. She’s got away with too much too long, at some stage it had to bite her on her teeny weeny butt….but please, please let that spell inside of Rowena be flame retardant, because I had grown to adore that character, and I want her alive causing trouble and flirting with Samuel. And if she is to die, I don’t want it to be off screen - though I sure as hell did not want to see that death. I just can’t believe she’s truly gone, even though she looks irretrievable. Every time I watch the episode I can’t resolve the fact that she might have met her end that way.

Crowley. We should have seen this coming too. He made such a mistake with Lucifer. He let those emotions that have been bubbling up inside him since the end of season 8, take control. He was driven by his need to win…but not in the sense we are used to with Crowley, but in the sense that he needed to win to feel good about himself and his job. Like so many others, his relationship with the Winchesters affected him in such a way that he was changed by it in his very core. Old Crowley would not have allowed his need to get revenge to overcome his common sense, but emotional Crowley, with a mum and people he thought of as family (even if he shouldn’t have), did…and in the end, it cost him everything. As soon as he said, “Whenever there's a world-ending crisis at hand, I know where to place my bets. It's on you, you big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel”, we should have known…and I probably did…though I thought he’d somehow wiggle his way out of it, Crowley style! But as it turned out, Crowley basically became one of the people he warned people about - those who follow the Winchesters to their inevitable death! 

But Crowley’s death to me, felt like a good death. It felt like the conclusion to what was a fantastic emotional arc for this character. Of all the long-play characters on Supernatural (of which their aren’t many!), Crowley went through the most remarkable changes, and no matter how many times he threatened, no matter if his eyes lit up red and smoked, no matter how much disdain with which he was usually treated, he could not kill those lumbering piles of flannel, because once he realised that hell held nothing for him, the Winchesters were all he had. They were his friends, for want of a better word, they sought him out for help, even if only to their benefit, and I think they made him feel worth that his life as the ruler of hell lacked. 

And in that moment where he sacrificed himself for their cause, he really did think that this would also be a final win for him, that he could trap Lucifer and have the last laugh…not a selfless sacrifice by any means, it was a Crowley sacrifice, one last “screw you”. Shame it was all for naught. I loved Crowley. I will miss him and his sassy interactions with the boys, but if he had to go, it was a good way to do it. I hope the boys mourn him…even just a little.

Castiel. I did not see this one coming! Not with the loss of Crowley only seconds earlier! I probably should have, but I didn’t! I thought Cas would make off with the Nephilim and we’d see the aftermath of that! I didn’t think Lucifer’s arm would come through the glowy rift and angel blade him! I was fully hand over mouth gobsmacked. I think I screamed out NOOOOOO with Dean.

Of course I also didn’t think he’d be gone for good. Crowley, yep I could see that, Cas, nope. Not Cas. And we know he won’t be, we all know that by now, worst kept spoiler on the planet! But it didn’t make Cas’ death any less shocking in the moment, and I’m sure it won’t make the emotional fallout any less heartbreaking.

Mary. To be honest, I thought Mary would die at the end of season 12. I thought her conversation with Kelly about dying for your kids was foreshadowing. I thought that maybe this would be done to show her true devotion to her sons and as a kind of ‘make good’ to them. I was ready to be annoyed, not because I love the Mary character so much, but because it felt wasteful. I was very happy that my predictions did not happen. Instead, in a very Swan Song moment, Lucifer pulled Mary into the rift with him as she tried to protect Sam and Dean. And then it sealed up behind her, just like the gates of hell did on Sam, leaving her sons behind, once again, with only each other. I kinda loved this a lot because we know we’re going to see more of Mary in this alternate Universe and I look forward to seeing who she is there and the friendships she makes, and I always love it when the boys are forced to lean more heavily on each other, because they truly are stronger together. 

Mary grew on me I guess, as the season neared its end, and when Dean finally put their water under the bridge, I could see that was also a release for her, a release from the guilt she felt for what her boys’ lives had become. I hope this will give us a different view of Mary, and new Mary. Mary version 3!

I loved how Swan Songish Mary's plight all was, and I was reminded of what Sam said to Dean, in the car on the way to Stull Cemetery, “Once the Cage is shut, you can't go poking at it, Dean. It's too risky.” We just know they’re going to poke at it.

The Nephilim in the room. Creepy AF. CREEPY AF! Yellow eyes in the nursery. OMG. The symbolism was off the charts. Sam just lost his mum too…and then there were those glowing yellow eyes. I couldn’t even. I did joke that no wonder Kelly died in child birth, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BABY! Heh. I don’t know what he’ll become. We know he’s powerful. Will he be evil? The old nature/nurture argument? Hmmmm… It sure was a cracker last shot of the season though. CREEEEEEEEEEPY AS FUCK!

Everything in between. I’m totally onboard with the glowy rift in space and time. The portal to an alternate world, which is a post-apocalyptic wasteland because the Winchesters never saved it, made me gasp at the possibilities (and squee because the world really would be like that without Sam and Dean!). All those alternate favourite characters! The promise of so many treats and so many terrors. I instantly wondered at what point that portal will open and the crap will flow into our world for Sam and Dean to muck up. Hey, at least the demons will be easier to spot with those horns!

I squeed when we saw Bobby…how I love Bobby…and then I was sad that he didn’t know who his boys were. I loved that he knew John, and Mary, but that they never married – that Mary spoke of John almost like he was the one that got away. I can’t wait until Bobby meets real world Mary!

I loved that Bobby called his gun Rufus, I smiled alongside Sam, and filled his gun with bullets made from angel blades, I got giddy alongside Dean - get melting, Dean! All of this was so nicely thought out and held so much promise, it made me truly excited for what is to come.

There was such utter devastation in All Along the Watchtower. The Winchester boys have had everything taken from them once again. This is what the show does to them. Whether it’s taking away one or the other, or making them complicit in a lie that we know will, in the end, rip them apart, or tearing everything they love down…this is the brothers’ lives, this is their forever fate…and we get to watch them rise up again, make the best of what they’ve got left and rebuild…because that’s who they are, and that’s why we love them.

“Dean: You know, it wasn't long ago, I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cas back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but still, we had 'em. And now...

Sam: Now they're all gone.”

I can’t wait to see them fight to get it all back.

See you soon for season 13…AND I MEAN SOON!

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Supernatural Season 13 Episodes 1 - 9 Titles Revealed! Weeee! (Includes Spoilers for titles...obvs!)

Sooooooo are we all surviving the Hellatus? It's really not that long now until the new season kicks off! Woohooo! The show is already onto shooting episode 4, and with convention season in full flight, we're starting to hear bits and pieces of what to expect from the season!

One of the exciting things that happens before the season starts is we start to hear some episode titles. Well, this year we have the first 9 titles for season 13 released! Of course these can change, we've seen that happen, and the order can change, we've seen that happen too, but it's a start for all of us getting real hungry for the new season! And definitely something to chew on!

So here they are, let's look at them and see if we can work out what they're about! Come at me with your theories!

Monday, 31 July 2017

Women of Letters Podcast talk 2017 San Diego Comic Con!

Jules from the SuperWiki, and Amy AKA sweetondean, talk all the shenanigans, and awesomeness that was this year's San Diego Comic Con. 

They discuss all the Supernatural appearances, from Conan on Wednesday, through to the big Kansas epicness at Sunday's panel! All the news, spoilers, and everything Supernatural and Supernatural adjacent! 

It's a Supernatural-a-palooza! 

Supernatural at Comic Con on the Women of Letters Podcast.
Listen via soundcloud 

Thursday, 20 July 2017


As per every year, we'll be bringing together all the news, photos and videos from the Supernatural team at San Diego Comic Con. This post will be updated regularly across the Comic Con weekend. Follow @AmyinSydney on twitter and subscribe to this blog for updates! 

Jensen and Jared headed to Comic Con early this year for a pre-con appearance, and it looks like they will be there right through to their main panel on Sunday, so here's hoping for plenty of shenanigans!